But, tragically, you realize that you're just lying to yourself.
So you break up.
Yeah, that's how it happens. Me and math? We just broke up. It wasn't an easy decision, but in the end I'm all the happier for it. I tried to work through my issues—more like problems; more like MATH problems—but it was too much, too fast, and too difficult.
I thought I'd have regrets. But you know what? I really don't. All of the stress, and all of the time I spent desperately trying to understand the lectures, the book, the notes, was completely distracting me from my other classes. You know, the ones I actually have a chance of succeeding in.
So yesterday I filed the paperwork. Math and I are officially divorced.
|Good riddance, Math. I NEVER loved you!|
I still have to take Business Math for my degree, but right now my plan is to take it either online or at a community college next semester. I'm cutting it close, what with next semester hopefully being my last. But the math department here at Texas A&M is just too difficult for me.
Let me put it to you this way.
We have a student counseling center here, which as a student is free to visit (Okay, it's not exactly free. We're paying for it in our tuition costs...). When you go, you check off a box next to the reason for your visit.
One of these options is "Math Anxiety."
That's right, there are so many students here ripping out their hair over math that the counseling center has made "Math Anxiety" its own category of problem.
I don't know about you, but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that if there are enough people who come in with anxiety, stress, frustration, depression over math, maybe—just maybe—A&Ms math department needs to take it down a notch.
At any rate, as soon as I handed in the paperwork to withdraw from math, it was like this huge, oppressive weight lifted off of my shoulders. Instantly my dread of going to classes, studying, doing homework dissipated. For the first time since this semester started, I'm actually looking forward to the rest of the semester instead of begging God to skip me ahead to December.
It's a good feeling.
That is all.