Saturday, August 28, 2010

The Beginning of the End

It's about that time again. Fall semester starts on Monday, so I'll be back in school five days a week. I can't decide if I'm dreading it or excited about it. After taking classes over the summer, I kind of feel cheated out of a real break. With only a week or two between the end of Spring semester and the beginning of Summer I, and the non-break between Summer I and II, and again only two weeks after II and before Fall, I'm kind of in a state of mourning. You know, for what could have been. The vacation I could have taken, that kind of thing.

Fall means football here in Aggieland.

But really, without those summer classes, I wouldn't be graduating on time. So despite grieving over a summer lost, I'm also celebrating, most importantly, the end of my undergraduate foreign language requirement. Which has been the bane of my existence for quite some time. I took Spanish 1 and 2 a few summers ago, which arguably didn't go so well, so I was pretty nervous about 3 and 4. Seeing as how I didn't learn much the first go around. But by several miracles, I finished. I'm still thinking about throwing myself a party for that. And taking care of one phys. ed. credit will make things that much easier when I have to stuff one in to my last semester.

So all in all, my summer was a success. Yet still I can't help but wish for a little more time to just do nothing and love the heck out of it.

A view I will be seeing again, and soon.
But now I'm sitting at Saturday, staring down Sunday, and wishing Monday was more than
a day and a half away.

I always get first-day-of-class anxiety. Fortunately my four classes on Monday are in relatively close proximity to one another, making that anxiety lessen ever so slightly. My forecast says it should be raining. How appropriate.

But it's not just end-of-summer blues that make going back to classes bittersweet. It's also that this marks the beginning of the end. My senior year, the last hurrah. I'm almost done with my undergraduate work, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. Besides excited, besides, "FINALLY!" and besides, "Thank the Lord!" I'm also anxious, nervous, and admittedly sad. I don't really know what the future holds for me. Heck, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. And frankly, after being in school for so long I'm not sure what I'll do with myself when I don't have classes to go to, homework to put off, tuition to pay, textbooks to...think about reading.

Speaking of textbooks, I have 17 for this semester, for a whopping $600 bucks. 
THAT I will not miss.

So I guess the crux of it is, I'm scared. I'm approaching the end of several years of hard work, and there's a light at the end of the tunnel but it's so bright that I can't see what else is out there. Maybe if I could, I wouldn't be so scared.

But then again, if I knew what was coming, would it be as exciting?


Linda Chapman said...

You are wise to enjoy every moment- even the somewhat melancholy ones! You will find it all will fall into place. Step by step...just keep taking the next one. And continue to enjoy the 'walk.'

Tuesday's Child said...

What an exiting time in your life! You have a bright future ahead of you...enjoy every moment, take LOTS of pics, be carefree, have many "girls' nights out", savor your freedom before your enter the "real" world!

museumgirl22 said...

I ended up taking summer classes--for German--last year. At that point, I hadn't had a summer break since high school so I guess I was used to it. Now, I'm in graduate school and for the first time I had a summer break. Did I go on vacation? I wish. Instead, I was working so much...I think I'll have to cut back my hours after my first few weeks of school. I start on Sept 1 and I'm excited!

Sarah Thomas said...

@Linda—Sometimes it’s hard to remember to enjoy the melancholy ones, but you’re so right! All of it, good and bad, should still be enjoyed for what it is. :-)

@Tuesday’s Child—Thank you! I sure hope it’s bright. And if I know me, I’ll definitely be taking lots of pictures! Ah, the fabled “real world.” Not sure how I feel about how fast that one’s approaching. Ha!

@museumgirl22—Oh, German! I think that’s such a cool language. And grad school, how exciting! Where are you attending? Good luck on your first day when it rolls around!

Matt Bukaty said...

Yay no more Spanish! Like I told sucks that you had no summer at the time, but come graduation you'll be glad you did that *nod*

And in ref to your last question...probably not. haha

-pleat (as in a pair of khakis or slacks.)

Polly said...

This is going to be an amazing year for you. I'm excited for you. You're going to enjoy it, except for math maybe. Ha! So get ready to roll!

Sarah Thomas said...

@Matt—Oh yes, I remember that from taking Biology with you! The during isn't great, but in the long run summer classes are excellent! And historically much easier! Some of my best memories involve you, me, lab, and goggles.

@Polly—Math! I'm so scared of math! I hope you're right about it being a great year. Maybe I'll finally get my Aggie ring! Now THAT would make it a great year. Love you!

Flávio Miguel Mota Pereira said...

the school could be more than the end.
We are so obcessed with vacacions that the end of it passes forward.
dont be afraid, just fight

Megan said...

Nice pictures! Hey, at least you didn't have to take a mini-mester during your two week breaks, right? And as for that very bright light at the end of the tunnel, you know there's something there for you, even if it is a train ;)

Sarah Thomas said...

@Megan—Thank you! And that’s very true. Although it’s possible I’ll still be stuffing a mini-mester into Christmas or something. We’ll see! And haha!! If it’s a train, I hope I hear it before it hits me!