Friday, August 8, 2008

No Habla Espanol. ¡Caramba!

It seems that once more I've caught myself procrastinating. For shame. And how appropriate considering my last update of sorts involved my ability to put things off until the very last. Alas, I fear I shall never learn.

I've really been meaning to update sooner. I'd like to say that I haven't been able to find the time, but that would only be partly true. I blame the internet. I'm so easily distracted as it is, what good is it to tap into a source of endless...whatever? I mean, I can get online with the sole purpose of checking my email and three hours later, what have I still not done? Checked my email! What HAVE I done, you might ask? So much and yet nothing at all. I've probably checked Facebook and/or Myspace. And not only checked, but reloaded, reloaded, and reloaded again. You know, just in case in the time it took me to find out that I actually don't have any new friend requests someone happened to...I don't know...send me a message? Leave me a comment? Right. It's like, HELLO!!! I'm pretty sure that nothing has changed. It's only been...*checks watch* Less than a minute? ...Huh. How 'bout that?

Wait, I think God just told me I got a message. Sweet!


Oh. No, I must have misinterpreted that. Still no messages.


Somebody slap me. It really is just too much.


You know how they say you learn something new every day? Well, today I totally agree with that. Today I learned a FEW new things. Yep, more than one.

Firstly, I learned that staring at a piece of paper, no matter how long, no matter how intently, doesn't and won't ever result in the answers magically appearing. Nor will it cause your brain to suddenly know the proper answer. Apparently there's just no substitution for actual learning. [Who knew?] Usually I, having a fair grasp on the English language (despite what you may have been told), can reach into thin air and pull something out to write down. However, a grasp on the English language, no matter how fair, doesn't do you much good when the paper you're having a staring contest with --which, by the way, is a losing game in itself. Have you ever actually seen paper blink? -- isn't in English so much as it is in Spanish.

Just to give you the idea of my Spanish-speaking capabilities:

Q: You ask your friend if he can pay for dinner. 
You also ask him to leave a tip.

**I'm supposed to answer this. In a complete sentence. 
Not only making me cheap for asking my friend to get the tab AND the tip, 
but also making my ineptness very obvious.**

We've already concluded that staring does nothing. But that doesn't help my I-Don't-Have-The-Slightest-Idea-How-To-Construct-A-Sentence-In-Spanish-God-Help-Me situation. So I scrawl out the best answer that I can think of:

Yo no dinero. Y tu?

I know right? I'm awesome, huh? 

I no money? I no make sentence good sound. I no learn Spanish staring by at the papers in this books. I is sad.

So the next time a test involving understanding a foreign language comes up, go ahead and bypass that whole blank stare thing. It just doesn't work.

The second thing I learned is that...apparently at 1:30 in the morning, my thoughts come and go rapidly and without warning. Because I SWEAR I had something else I was going to add. But as soon as I started to type it...gone! Maybe it'll come to me. Chances are it's floating around somewhere back there. Where those other things I learned go. Once upon a time, I actually retained knowledge and information. Nowadays, it goes in one ear but instead of going out the other it circles back around and parks it in the rear, gathering dust in the back of my brain with a million other things that'd no doubt be convenient to remember.

Like my parents' birthdays. Or how to do basic math. Or spend on a budget. Or balance my checkbook. Speaking of, that I actually haven't done in...years? At least a year. Yikes.

But anyway, here's a really cute picture of Tucker and his happy little friend. Because it's cute. 

C'mon, you know it is.
For now, I'm thinking crawling under the covers (which is where Tucker is now) is a pretty attractive idea. Because I get to sleep in. And I don't have ANNNNYTHING to do tomorrow. 

Except clean my room. 
Which should be...interesting. 
At best.


Mary Malcolm said...

Tucker is too cute. Very adorable, I hope I get to meet him someday! And don't worry about Hablabas Espanol.(I think that's right) It makes more sense after class is over. That's a sucky part of life, but just the way it is. Until then, find yourself a good bilingual friend and latch on for dear life. Oh, and if you get the chance, watch the soap dramas on Telemundo. Muy caliente! Or at least Paris Hilton would think so.

Sandra Ferguson said...

You and my oldest daughter, who's presently at A & M and engaging in writing French sentences that make as much sense as your Spanish sentences, have so much in common.

Actually, we live for her to come home and relate another story of how she couldn't conjugate verbs and string together enough words to write complete sentences, much less paragraphs. However, it is her accent on all things French that keep us totally rolling on the floor.

I keep asking why she switched to French after three years of HS Spanish. Her answer: I thought I'd catch on. She must need a bigger baseball mitt, because the catching doesn't seem to be going very well.

So here's to sleeping in and enjoying your Spanish-free day.