Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Ain't Custom, It's Natural!

So I seem to find myself up much later than I had ever planned or intended on and let me just tell you...I'm not honestly sure how it happens. But believe you me, it's definitely not thanks to boogie-ing. That's right! Boogie-ing is not happening for me right now. Ack! How could I? Anyway, I know I'm easily distracted - I mean anyone who knows me will tell you that. But I mean really. I'm going on four in the morning...and what am I doing? Sort of watching Project Runway, mostly sitting around, killing time...Time that doesn't need killing. No, what I really should be doing is getting my beauty sleep because Lord knows I need that more than anything.

Ah well, who needs to learn from ones actions for realio, anyway? Not me! I already know everything. Like I know that my staying up this late will result in once more waking up closer to noon than nine (which is the actual time I prefer to wake up by) and thus my lunch will happen at 3, and basically the end result will be staying up late again the next night! It's a vicious circle, but who am I to question nature?  

And anyway, it's not like I have anything to do tomorrow...er...*glances at clock, frowns* later today. And this time I'm not even being sarcastic. My only plan for today is to hopefully find time to get my headlight fixed. Oh, and my brake light, too, because why shouldn't they both go out at the same time? Kill two birds with one friggin' stone, am I right? And they're both on the same side, too! What are the odds? *slowly raises a skeptical eyebrow* I think my car secretly dislikes me because he (that's right, he) knows that I've been...well...sort of wanting a new car.  But that's a completely separate subject...And I'll be honest with you, I think my car could be listening in somehow...It's a big concern for me. Because I don't need anything else to go wrong with it. And I mean I really don't. But you know, as much as I sometimes want a new car...other times I think, we have had some very interesting times together...

*enter flashback sound effects....rrrright about...now!*

Not too long ago...(Actually, I guess it's actually been a couple of years ago...anyway...) I was going to school at DBU. I had a morning class, chapel, and an hour in between that and my next class, which was great because UM  hello! Lunchtime! And then I had to go back for another class. So I'm on my way back from Target (where I think I bought a CD or something instead of lunch...) driving on i20 and a pigeon SWOOPS into my car. Look, I'm going about 75 miles an hour, and this thing comes from the side and I don't know, maybe it was unhappy with life, maybe it was looking the wrong way, whatever the case may be it ended its life on the passenger side of my car. In the middle of my door.

The very middle. 

Observe.


Yeah, so in case you didn't get that, here's another.

So I'm just driving along, minding my own business and THUD! That little pigeon-bomber scared the LIVING CRAP out of me! So naturally I screamed, my eyes darting to my rearview only to grimace in horror as I see this poor little bird doing summersaults in the air in my cars' wake. 

Guys, I was traumatized. I started crying and shaking and feeling like I just murdered someone's child. To anyone who could have happened to see me in my car, I must have looked crazy. I had tears running down my face but I was in some sort of deluded state of shock, bordering on hysterics. Yes, that's right - I was laughing. One of those harried 'Did that seriously just happen?!' kind of laughs. 

Anyway, I pull into the parking lot, park, and sit there for a minute thinking, "OH. EM. GEE! Do I seriously want to step out of my car and see blood and guts on my door?!" Because of course I imagine like...half of the bird remaining embedded in my door...even though I totally saw the bird (yes, in it's entirety) flipping around as I sped away. I put it off for a little longer, and then heave a sigh and take the plunge. But guys, I'm not kidding - nothing really prepared me for what I saw. Again I remind you, I was expecting blood and guts. My rational mind was expecting a dent. I mean, that sucker hit me HARD. But I had no idea...
Look at this business! It's like the ghost-pigeon was STARING ME DOWN, as if to say, "You totally killed me. What was that about, yo?" The whole thing had so much incredible detail! I called my mom, still crying mind you, and told her that I hit a bird. I wasn't making a lot of sense because...yeah, the crying, so she was thinking I had a serious wreck or something, instead of a run-in with a suicidal pigeon.
When I finally calmed my silly self down and explained again, I tried to tell her, "Mom, a bird literally swoooped into my car and not only did it absolutely DIE, it also left a perfect...imprint of itself...on the door of my car. For realz."
She said she believed me but I knew I couldn't possibly be getting across what I was trying to. I mean, this thing was actually like...really pretty. I mean you can just see everything. The eyes, the beak, and in the larger pictures, even the tips of the wings. It was insane. The rest of the day while I was at school I kept thinking what if someone walks by and smudges it? I mean, it was too awesome. I wanted to show my parents. I was still feeling upset that I killed something. (This coming from a person who has cried over killing a cockroach. Hey, don't judge!) So I took some pictures with my phone, and my digital camera and drove home careful to avoid any sprinklers or puddles.
Neither of my parents could believe what it looked like. Frankly, neither could I. We all gathered around, offered up our oooh's and ahhh's respectively. Not to mention we all took multiple pictures with multiple cameras. Finally I went over to my friends house, and told/showed him my fancy new "car decal" and we proceeded to watch a movie.

Funny thing was, when his dad came home I asked him if he saw my bird. And his dad thought that I had actually went out, paid money, and got a custom bird painted on my car. In fact, I had to sort of insist that I hadn't. And that a bird had hit me. And left a mark. You know, a mark that looks just like the bird. What, that's never happened to you?

So yeah, it stayed there for awhile. I felt bad washing it off, but finally it had smudged and my car was pretty darn dirty, so I sucked it up and headed through the car wash...But I made sure to take as many pictures as I could. I mean, c'mon...wouldn't you? :)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is amazing! AMAZING! And it's the new background image on my laptop...

Sarah said...

Heh thanks! :) yeah I really want to enter that picture into a contest or something.

Is that you, Heather? ^_^

noodlesisanerd said...

Dude! That's wicked cool! Yes that's right wicked cool >.>'

Heheh. Maybe the bird wasn't suicidal at all, maybe it's an artist? O___o

-Juanita

Sarah said...

Maybe so! Whatever the case, it made quite an impression on me! (haha, get it? Impression! I'm punny!) :-P