I see London, I see France...

It was two in the morning. And admittedly, I should have already been in bed, but I wasn't. I got wrapped up in Fatal Attractions—why, why, why would you handle poisonous snakes with bare hands??—and could only bring myself to turn off the T.V. when they started playing re-runs. So then I took Tucker out for his last potty break of the night, and that's when it dawned on me.

It felt amazing outside. There was a chill in the air, a rather boisterous breeze. After spending a day on campus in almost-ninety degree weather, it was bliss.

So I came back inside, flung open the balcony door (okay, well, it's a sliding door, so..."flung" is just for dramatic effect), turned off every light except my nightlight, and kicked back on the sofa. I could feel the cool breeze, was enjoying listening to the sound of the wind and some crickets, had started to feel completely relaxed. The perfect way to wrap up a long day.

And then the SUV drove up. It might have been a Jeep. I'm really not sure. I can only attest to the fact that it was silver and full of girls.

They parked it in front of my building; not a totally unusual occurrence, since they apparently just needed to drop their friends off. Out emerged two tanned and dolled up girls. Back from a night of partying, I assume. Laughing, giggling, staggering. Drunk. And if there had been any question of their intoxication in my mind, out it went when I heard, "Oh my god, I am so drunk!"

They made it up to the sidewalk well enough, and their friends drove away past my building, did a U-turn at the next one, and decided it would be like, super fun to honk at their friends as they headed for the exit. Their inebriated friends laughed and waved and stumbled towards what I can only assume is their apartment.

It might be super fun for you two, but honey, it's two in the morning. The rest of us are not quite so amused.

After these two girls disappeared, I resumed lounging on the sofa. I was thinking, "Okay. Noisiness is over, enjoy the breeze. Relax again. Then go to bed."

But no such luck. I soon learned that the noisiness was not over at all.

Suddenly, instead of just the sound of the wind, I heard muffled country music and the roar of an engine. A red convertible Mustang pulls up, blaring his stereo—loud enough that I can hear it from the third floor of my building even though he has his windows up. And can I just say that, at two in the morning, it doesn't matter what kind of music you're listening to; if it's cranked up, it's annoying.

He parked facing away from me, headlights still on, and killed the music. So then I thought, "Well that's nice. At least he switched it off before opening his car door or rolling down a window." Only then, instead of shutting off his car and getting out, he just sat there. The headlights stayed on. And then the music turned on again.

He sat there for several minutes and then, lo and behold, who should come back on the scene but the two not-so-sober girls from before. I could hear them before I could see them, giggling and laughing, as if completely unaware of the fact that it's now two thirty in the morning and most people are trying to sleep.

They walked between my car an the car next to me, headed for none other than Mr. Mustang. Who knew?

Both of them were still stumbling a bit, and one of them ran into the car parked next to me. Her friend said something along the lines of, "Watch out for the car," or, "Don't hit the car." To which the other girl replied, "As long as it's not my car!" and, as she laughed in a manner that said, "Heheh, I'm such a rebel," she proceeded to purposefully bump into the car next to me several times as she passed by, using whatever it was she was holding in her hands to thump along the side.

Sweetheart, that's not cute.

And then, the kicker. The punch line. The you've-got-to-be-kidding-me moment.

As I watched them head for the Mustang, worried that next they'll decide it'd be funny to bang against my car, I realized that one of the girls wasn't wearing quite what she was wearing when she got dropped off.

Somewhere along the way, she had lost her pants. And shoes. All that's left is a top and her underwear.

This didn't seem to phase her at all. I had to do a double-take to make sure my eyes weren't deceiving me. I thought, "Surely those shorts are just really short, because normal people don't hang around outside of an apartment building in their underwear, right?"

Wrong.

They were most definitely not shorts.

I just can't imagine. Even when drunk, I have never had the urge to show myself in public in my panties. In fact, even when I've had perhaps a bit too much to drink, I come home, make it up the stairs to my third-floor apartment, pop a leash on my dog, and take him out to use the bathroom before we go to bed. So I don't know what this girl's excuse is...

The last thing I heard her say as she and her friend headed back inside for the second time? "Oh my gosh! I can't believe I did that! I am so embarrassed!"

Well, hindsight is 20/20. And I, for one, didn't need to sight your hind.

Live and learn.

Get'choo some.

I got all these cartoons from NatalieDee.com. She is hilarious. I deserve no credit for them. I'm just sayin'.

Bubbles Wear Hats, Practice Makes Perfect, and The B-Party. - Day Two of the Four Day Wedding Roadtrip

I wrote the title for this before I started writing the actual post, and I planned to just dive right in to the continuing festivities, but I feel that it's worth a chuckle to mention the fact that as I clicked on 'edit post' and re-read my title, I had absolutely no idea what I was thinking. Or talking about. Well really just the first bit, "Bubbles Wear Hats." Fortunately, after I (with eyebrow raised) asked myself what the heck I could have meant enough times, it finally came to me! So now I shall tell you. :)

Bubbles Wear Hats

Our second day in P-town, Maranda came to our room and woke us up, with the exception of Emma who was already dressed and ready when she went to answer the door. As for Jackie, Michelle, and myself, we remained wrapped up in our sheets slumbering peacefully, as we were anticipating another hour of sleep before the alarm went off. Oh well! There she was, so up we got. After making our rounds in the bathroom we headed for Maranda's house, making a quick pit stop at Sonic for some lunch. We chowed down at Maranda's, and when her mom got there we were all put to work. 

Instead of rice or confetti or whatever other "They're married, let's throw stuff!" stuff, our bride wanted bubbles. Ingredients? Small bottles of bubbles, tulle* cut in circles, mini cowboy hats (black AND white), and ribbon (red, white, and blue).

I'd like to take this moment to add that until this trip I had no idea what tulle (pronounced 'tool') was. Not only did I learn what it is, but I also learned that it is CLINGY. After the initial wrap-your-bubble-bottles-in-tulle-and-secure-at-top-with-ribbon, the leftover circles were appropriately trimmed, snipped, cut, and snowflaked. We found tulle remnants in the car, on our clothes-- not to mention somehow in our luggage-- even after we made it back to Midlo!

So dutifully we wrapped, tied, and curled the bubbles. I seemed to have a hard time holding the tulle up around the top while at the same time tying a rather even knot with the ribbon. But doing it numerous times helped to cure that inability, and soon I got the hang of it. We had a makeshift assembly line, some of us applying the mini-hats, some of us wrapping and tying, some of us curling the ribbon. We hatted, tulled, and ribboned all of the bottles and loaded them into a box to be taken to the church later.

Then was when we realized there was still quite a bit of tulle left over. Jackie grabbed some scissors and started to snip, making a number of happy little tulle-flakes. :) Good times were had by all. 

I think it's worth mentioning that Jackie jumped into action when it was necessary to save a

 tulle-flake that leapt right from Michelle's hands! We thought all was lost, watching with shock and despair as it drifted skyward. Piling back into the car, we mourned. But then Jackie spotted the flake! It was floating back towards the Earth, and in a daring and gutsy move, she stopped

 the car, pulled up the parking brake, and snatched the wayward tulle-flake right out of someones yard! Our hero! :)

Practice Makes Perfect

After the bubble wrapping extravaganza, Jackie, Michelle, Emma, and myself all headed back to our room. Some of us needed to change for the rehearsal. We had a couple of hours to kill and we were all beat from the amount of sleep-- or lack thereof-- that 

we had gotten the night prior. So we flipped on the TV, put off changing until it was absolutely necessary, and facilitated our subsequent sleepiness by stuffing ourselves together on one of the beds (a full, and we had two in our room) to girl-talk and rest.

I very  nearly fell asleep, and I most certainly wanted to, but as I was an edger, I was nervous that I'd slip and fall. Jackie and Michelle, the middle of our proverbial sandwich, were quick to doze off. Emma and I (both carefully poised on the edge of either side of the bed) eventually got up. Not wanting to disturb either of our nappers, we did our best to not make noise. Or, you know, gracelessly plunge off of the edge and onto the floor. Jackie and Michelle were, I believe, already dressed for the rehearsal anyhow, so Emma and I took the time we needed to get ready and didn't wake them up until we had to. Again we made our rounds in the bathroom, touched up our hair and makeup, grabbed our purses, and headed out.

Now I realize I said that the boys deserved their own post, but there is something that I simply must include right here and now. Upon arriving at the church (after a brief stint at Maranda's, waiting for all to arrive so that we could follow them) we realized that Best Man Bobby had left his truck [Maxine] running. I don't remember exactly who pointed it out, thinking he'd be appreciative as gas is ridiculously high, especially for a diesel baby like Maxine, but that's not the point. What was absolutely incredible was the words that came from Best Man Bobby's mouth. The whole conversation, short as it was, went a little something like this:

us: "Hey Bobby, you left Maxine on."

Bobby: *glances back at truck* "Oh, I'm leavin' her on."

us: *eyebrows raise* "What? For the whole rehearsal? Why?"

Bobby: *looks at us like we're nuts* "Otherwise the beer'll get hot!"

us: ...*blink*

It was both entirely unexpected and completely fantastic all at once. We followed everyone inside and bee-lined for a room. I'm not sure what it was called. Probably a fellowship hall, or at least that's the closest thing I can think of in terms of what my church would call it. There we had finger foods, little snacky things, drinks, and conversation. We also met some of the other girls that were going to be bridesmaids with us. Shortly after the food, we trekked to what I'd call the sanctuary, and the rehearsal commenced.

All went really well, actually. We had some questions, myself included, just to keep things clear for the actual wedding. They put strips of tape on the stairs with our names on them so we would know where to stop and stand after the initial walk down the aisle. The groomsmen pretty much stayed put. We, however, came out, stood in place, took three-ish steps back when the bride was handed over to the groom, took a few more steps back when they lit the unity candle, and returned to our second 'three-ish steps back' spot after the candle was lit. But we did get it down. Really the only 'hang up' was the order. Maranda put us in order of when she met us. However, when our groomsmen matched up to that order, let's just say it went something like "shortTALLTALLshortTALLshortshortTALL". Well, you get the idea. So the boys were rearranged to be more...aesthetically pleasing, and then we matched the order they were in. Which, ironically, moved us to 1) Jackie 2) Michelle 3) Emma 4) Me, and so on. 

I wasn't about to complain. :) 

Especially because I knew that after the rehearsal would be our little 

make-shift bachelorette party...

The B-Party

Before we went to Maranda's to throw her a 'bachelorette party', we stopped by the nearest grocery store we could find (and the one that we were told involved english-speaking people), United. There we searched for a cake to bring, but when we couldn't find anything we settled for the makings of sundaes. Chocolate and vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, waffle-cone bowls, the whole nine. We resisted getting her an "I'm Sorry" balloon, although I'm sure she would have found it amusing.

Once we got to Maranda's, we ate our self-made sundaes and then settled in on a round of I Never. It was a bit...awkward at times, but for the most part really fun. And it was yet another experience wherein I learned more about some people than I ever would have cared to know. And I mean I learned some things I REALLY didn't care to know. 

But I did offer up my little I Never. 

Are you ready for this?

Here it comes.

I have never (NEVER) eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I know, I know. I'm a freak. A freak of nature. Don't worry-- all of my friends have already made sure that I know this. :)

Anyway, even though Jackie, Michelle, and myself remained 'dry' as it were--instead of beer, we took a drink of our water whenever we needed to-- we had quite a bit of fun. And watching the not-so-sober people was...highly entertaining. But then again, we already knew it would be thanks to our first encounter with the boys. :)

We ended up leaving Maranda's sometime around midnight, I think. I don't quite remember, but I remember being really tired. And knowing that we needed to wake up at 8 the next morning to start our RunRunWeddingDay. 

Leaving the bachelorette party essentially wrapped up Day Two of our trip, and I can only speak for myself, but I know I slept really good that night. And I also know that sleep didn't happen for near as long as I wanted it to. :)

To Be Continued...

*tulle –noun [tool; Fr. tyl]
a thin, fine, machine-made net of acetate, nylon, rayon, or silk.
[Origin: 1810–20; [F, after Tulle, France, where first made]