Man's Best Friend

There are certain things you learn when you become a dog owner. Not only do you learn a lot more about dogs—the things they eat, the things they chew, how many bottles of Resolve you go through during potty-training—but you also learn a lot about yourself. I know I have.

I wanted to share with you my wisdom. Or, the wisdom I've been granted thanks to my dogs—both past and present.

A few of my lovely dogs.
Top right; Kelsi. Top left; Tucker. Bottom; Cowboy.

• Standing around, repeating, "Need to?" and "Go teedle!" will make you humble. So will stooping over to pick up their...leavings...

• "Doggie Bags" will no longer bring to mind restaurant leftovers.

• You can tell a dog owner by the slobber on the inside of their passenger window.

• You are much more capable of baby talk than you ever imagined.

• Sometimes a comforting lick is just as good as, if not better than, a hug.

• Toys that boast, "Will keep your dog busy for hours!" will probably not live up to that promise.

• When puppies are teething, NOTHING is safe.

• The difference between acceptable behavior and unsocialized behavior is the difference between "your dog" or "their dog."

• Dogs can totally laugh at you. Also, they do totally laugh at you.

• Dogs are way more loyal than people. They always listen, they love to be around you, they don't care what you look like with no make-up on, they'll never stab you in the back, they'll forgive you for anything, and they would lay down their life for you without a second thought.

• Feeding your dog table scraps can backfire. Big time.

• You will become that person who always brings a conversation back to your dog.

• You will find reasons to show everyone pictures of your dog, whether they want to see them or not.

• My dog has made me a much more patient person.

• It is almost impossible to disappoint a dog.

• The entire world obviously smells much more interesting than you will ever know.

• Dog hair gets on EVERYTHING. Even places that your dog has NEVER BEEN.

• Every dog has a different personality.

• My dog is probably smarter than me. That would not surprise me at all.